We’ve Been Thinking About Success All Wrong

Last summer, my husband and I decided to move our family to the mountain town we fell in love with fifteen years ago. Our timing wasn’t by mistake. We knew that the time we have left- with our children, with our bodies, and with our personal ambition- is precious. We want every shot to live our best lives, and we want to do it with our kids. Since being here, (and being insanely grateful for the time we spend together, the activities we’re able to do, and the natural beauty that surrounds us) I think a lot about how the traditional narrative of success fails so many of us.

When we’re young, we’re taught to follow a linear trajectory of success. We’re trained to focus intensely on academic achievements, professional advancement, and financial accumulation. But this approach never sat well with me, and I know I’m not alone.

When does a person on this trajectory truly have the opportunity to explore, discover, and invest in herself beyond professional achievements? We begin our careers in our twenties, typically narrowing our focus in our thirties and aggressively pursuing high-level goals in our forties. By the time retirement arrives in our sixties, what have we sacrificed?

The stark reality is sobering: we’ve missed the prime years of physical fitness, spent minimal time with our growing children, overlooked crucial moments with aging parents, and squandered our most vibrant period of personal discovery.

What if we emphasized the importance of taking time for our personal lives in the decades where that can have the most impact? I believe our best freedom years are between our thirties and fifties- when we’re growing families, relationships, and ourselves. Instead, these are the years that are rooted in professional development, pushing those vital categories to be just an afterthought.

This isn’t about not working- it’s about reprioritizing and giving ourselves permission to take on growth in areas outside of our careers. Of course this concept can’t be prescriptive either; it wouldn’t work for everyone. But normalizing it allows us to expand our thinking beyond the traditional grindstone of: ‘work hard, and live out your golden years in retirement.’

Sometimes when I plan, I think in decades. I’ve thought a lot about how this theory would play out in each of the decades of our lives that are often dedicated to work. As I do when I think about a lot of things, I put these thoughts in a chart to better visualize 🤓.

What if this is how our decades played out, instead of working full-charge until traditional retirement age?

How does this resonate with you? I can understand many reasons why some would object to this theory, and of course- it wouldn’t work for everyone. But why not expand our thinking about the way our lives can balance the right times of work, growth, relationships, and investment?