Why Financial Freedom Can Make 💘... or Break the Love 💔
When my husband and I were both working full-time jobs, side-hustling our real estate business, and raising a toddler and a newborn, I often daydreamed about how wonderful life would be once we achieved financial freedom. I especially imagined our partnership strengthening when we finally had time to sleep and enjoy hobbies together.
Fast forward two years, and we reached financial freedom. Burned out, I left my job and retired from the grind I had known for decades. Leaving my job meant I had time to get decent sleep, enjoy afternoons with the kids, and take on the primary caregiver role for our home, family, vehicles, social calendar, bills, and finances. Ryan and I had previously split many of these responsibilities while we both worked full-time. When I took them on almost exclusively, I saw firsthand what happens in someone’s career when they have more support in other aspects of their life. My decision to leave my job was mine alone—one that my husband fully encouraged, not because he sought this level of support in his career, but because he sensed it would be better for my well-being. Ultimately, it was—though not right away.
Despite all my daydreams about how wonderful our marriage would be in financial freedom, there was an elephant in the room: my lingering unhappiness.
I came to realize that my resentment stemmed from my own desire to pursue a professional goal- without the overwhelming sacrifices of sleep, energy, and personal time. I envied my partner for being able to work toward his goals without the same level of sacrifice as before. Once I vocalized my goal of doing the same, we made adjustments. Ryan took on more home and family responsibilities while I continued in the primary role, but this time, I gave myself permission to sign up for additional childcare, establish working hours for myself, and ask for help when I needed it.
This process still took a lot of adjusting. It was difficult for me to justify investing so much time and energy into something that wasn’t generating income. I found myself assigning a price tag to my own value. Was I worthy of using the family’s resources if I wasn’t contributing a paycheck?
Despite my own struggles over this, Ryan fully supported my mission—encouraging me wholeheartedly, even as I dedicated my time, energy, and our family’s resources to an endeavor with no immediate financial return. His belief in me made me feel valued and gave me the confidence to keep going. More importantly, it reinforced my understanding that our partnership was built on mutual support and faith in each other’s ability to take risks, pursue personal growth, and explore our dreams.
Define a Vision, While Working Towards Financial Freedom 📈
Often, when we dream about the next milestone in life, we assume our mindset, fitness, health, and overall wellness will automatically improve just because we’ve achieved a goal. We fail to plan for the practical aspects needed to align our daily lives with our ideal vision. No amount of passive income or invested assets will bring fulfillment if we haven’t defined what fulfillment looks like. If we can’t articulate our vision down to our daily actions, financial freedom won’t feel very... free.
It took me two years to find the right balance of fitness, creativity, family engagement, personal growth, community involvement, housework, and professional work that aligns with my values. Now that I’ve found the perfect balance for this stage of life (somehow, my husband struck this balance quickly after quitting his job), my marriage embodies what I once dreamed about: two people who love each other deeply, and have the energy to support and appreciate one another.
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